Pastor Matt Sturdevant: Today, we are wrapping up the series that we’ve been in for the last several weeks, called True to Real. This is the last week of that series. We’ve been taking a look at the Seven Heart Attitudes. Today is actually the eighth message in the series, and I want to be clear that we are not adding an eighth Heart Attitude today. But rather, we are taking another look at all seven of the Heart Attitudes. There have been a few things that we have mentioned along the way in the series, but what I’ve saved for today will hopefully be a help for you to understand the broader context of the Heart Attitudes and how they all fit together.
Personally, I’ve really enjoyed this series. At the same time that we’re doing the series of Sunday morning messages, our groups are reading the book, The Heart Attitudes by our founding pastor, Harold Bullock. Then, our groups are discussing what they’ve read and how the Heart Attitudes have been impacting their lives. So, it’s been a lot of fun for me over this last number or weeks and as we think now about wrapping up this series and how to put it all into practice. If you’re new with us or just not as familiar with the Seven Heart Attitudes, they’re listed there one more time for you at the top of your handout.
A couple of things I want you to know as we get started are that the Seven Heart Attitudes are all short, summary statements of commands that we find in the Scripture. They focus on how we relate to one another. The first four look at our personal relationships with one another, and then the last three look at our group and team and organizationally how we relate as a church. The Heart Attitudes, when we take a look at the Scriptures, what we find in the Bible is that the heart is not the thing in our chests that delivers blood throughout our bodies. The heart is talking about the real us on the inside. It’s the core of us where we make decisions about our lives.
Then, when you think about an attitude, actually airplanes have an attitude. They have to have a certain angle of approach to be able to safely land. As human beings, we all have a default attitude. It’s just the way we enter into life and deal with different situations and deal with people. We can intentionally choose to have a different attitude than the one that comes so naturally and so easily to us. A Heart Attitude, then is a mental or emotional preset that we intentionally choose as we go about interacting with people and situations in our lives.
Now, in the New Testament, there’s an interesting statement in the book of James. It says in James 1:22, “Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” Then also in the book of Romans, Romans 12:2, we find this. It says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind so that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
So for us here at Hope Church as we commit to live out God’s Word and put it into practice, the Word moves from true to real and in the process actually transforms us. We believe here at Hope Church that the Bible really is God’s Word. It’s like the operator’s manual for life. You want to know how to live life the best way? Then, take a look at the Bible. Look at what God has said to His people about how to live life. As we go about living life according to God’s Word, life goes so much better. It’s not perfect by any means, but it goes so much better. In the process of living life God’s way, we actually please God by the things that we do and the things that we say.
For us here at Hope Church, the Heart Attitudes give us real actions we can take to know if we are hitting the mark or if we are far off of the mark of living life the way God intends for us to live as His people. In fact, our theme verse for this year, this program year that starts in the fall and goes through next summer, is 2 Timothy 1:7-8a. It says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord.” As we think about that theme verse and we think about living with the power and the love and the self-discipline that God has given us, the Heart Attitudes are also about choosing growth and getting out of our comfort zone.
I really wish that it was possible to grow not just our waistlines but grow as a person, grow in character, grow in skill, while sitting under a cabana on a tropical beach somewhere. Or, maybe being in a hammock by a mountain lake, but that’s just not how God designed things to work. We don’t grow when we’re in our comfort zone. It’s by getting out of our comfort zone and being stretched that we actually grow and develop as people. That’s just part of the way God designed life to work for us. Sometimes, it’s really hard to grow. Growing is never usually easy, but sometimes it can be more hard than others.
When we choose to live by the Heart Attitudes, that’s one of the vehicles God can use to grow us and bless us in life. It’s as we choose to live by the Heart Attitudes that we grow closer to God, and we grow closer to one another over time. Another thing that I want to talk about today is actually the sequence of the Heart Attitudes is crucial to their effectiveness. We’ve kind of mentioned this a few points along the way in this series, but really, the Heart Attitudes, number one is there for a reason, number two, number three, number four, five, six and seven. The sequence is important. They actually build on one another.
That’s what I want to take a look at for a few minutes with you right now. Why is the sequence the way that it is? Why is this important? You can think of the Seven Heart Attitudes as building blocks. Here’s some Legos. Heart Attitude number one is the foundation. It’s the core. It sets the stage for the kind of relationship that we will have with each other and with the group. It sets the relationship for the way people are going to be treated in church. It forms the context which the rest of the Heart Attitudes will operate within. That context is genuine concern and love for one another.
It also gives people the confidence that the Heart Attitudes will not be used to rule over people but will be used to care for one another in the context of love. Heart Attitude number one—Put the goals and interests of others above my own—is first because it’s the foundation to the Seven Heart Attitudes. As we think about Heart Attitude number two—Live an honest, open life before others—that’s the second one. Heart Attitude number two builds on Heart Attitude number one because we’re guaranteeing that we’re going to start from a foundation of love as we move on and as we live an open, honest life. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Rather, speaking the truth in love…” This sets the depth for which our relationship can grow.
We can communicate beyond just the surface, because we’re going to be open and honest. It’s really easy to keep relationships at a surface level. That’s appropriate in a lot of different settings, but in order to really form deep relationships, we’ve got to be able to get beyond the surface. This helps us do that, when you start with Heart Attitude number one and add Heart Attitude number two onto that. It means that we’re not going to pretend, but we’re actually going to be real in our relationships. Also, Heart Attitude number two sets the stage for Heart Attitude number three.
It sets the stage in that if we’re going to be truthful with one another at some point we may have to correct our brothers and sisters. There’s an agreement between us that we’ll be truthful and that we’re committed to correction when it’s necessary. Heart Attitude number three is “Give and receive Scriptural correction.” You can see we have Heart Attitude number one as the foundation, then number two, and we now add number three. Number three builds on number one because the motive for our correction is the good of others. The motive is love. If we’re genuinely going to look to the interests of others, we’ve got to be able to correct if things go out of bounds or if they go out of where they should be. If someone is damaging themselves or others, we’ve got to have a way to talk about that honestly and move towards fixing it if necessary.
It builds. We see the Heart Attitudes—one, two, three. They build on one another. Then if we’re going to correct one another when necessary, then we have got to have a vehicle for the relationship to be restored and to be renewed. So if we correct, we’ve got to have a way for there to be repentance and forgiveness. That’s where Heart Attitude number four comes in. We take Heart Attitude number four, and we add that onto the stack here. Heart Attitude number four here is “Clear up relationships.”
Again, it’s all built on Heart Attitude number one. When we build it on number one—of putting the goals and interests of others above our own—we’re seeking forgiveness and making restitution. We’re actually looking to the goals and interests of others, others that we may have offended. We’ve got to build it based on honesty, which is Heart Attitude number two. Then Heart Attitude number three logically flows into Heart Attitude number four. If we’re going to need to correct, there’s got to be a way to clear things up after correction has been done.
You can see in just the first four Heart Attitudes how they build on one another. I want to pause for just a minute and look at a very common example of how these four work together based on the logical flow that I just mentioned. We’ve sent out a lot of mission teams over the years, and most people who are a part of a mission team who are going to go somewhere else in the country or somewhere overseas most of the time aren’t all best friends before they become team members. In fact, sometimes people rarely even know each other. They’ve seen the other person at church, but they’re not even in the same friendship circles. So typically since everyone doesn’t know the other person, then Heart Attitude number one sets the stage for how we’re going to relate to one another. We’re going to think the best of each other. We’re going to treat each other with love.
Then, Heart Attitude number two allows for the relationship to go beyond the surface. We talked about this a few moments ago. The team members can actually trust each other as they are preparing to go overseas to do this mission project together. Again, Heart Attitude number three says that if someone goes out of bounds or someone offends the other person, then we have a way to actually appropriately talk about it. So that, it’s not a thing that we just sweep under the rug. We actually deal with what needs to be dealt with.
Then, Heart Attitude number four is the way that we can clear things up. This actually allows for forgiveness to happen. One who offended another can ask for their forgiveness, and then the one offended can forgive the one who offended them. It’s a way that relationships can move forward. It’s actually a trust-building exercise where relationships can sometimes be stronger if you operate by the first four Heart Attitudes as you move into the future. That’s kind of an example of how it practically plays out on a mission team for us.
So let’s go back now, and look at the last three Heart Attitudes. Again, the first four have to do with our personal relationships with one another. The last three deal more with how we interact in groups and teams and as a church as a whole. Heart Attitude number five, then, is “Participate in the ministry.” Heart Attitude number five again goes back to number one. It builds on number one. We’re looking to the interests of others. Heart Attitude number five building on Heart Attitude number one calls us to help out. The way that we look out for the goals and interests of the group is by participating, by actually participating in the ministry. This is one of the major reasons we participate because it’s a way to look out for the whole.
In 1 Peter 4:10, it says that “as each has received a gift, use it to serve one another…” God has given us spiritual gifts, those of us who are followers of Jesus. He intends not for us to just take those gifts and go around and hide them and use them for ourselves but actually use the spiritual gifts we’ve been given for the good of the whole for the good of the body of Christ. Heart Attitude number five builds on Heart Attitude number one. It also in the way they work together sets the limits on what we call ministry. If we’re going to do ministry, then it needs to be something that is helpful in a helpful way. What I do should not be a hindrance to the whole group, but actually help the whole group. So, we participate in the ministry.
It’s also enabled by the commitment to Heart Attitude number two, which is living an honest, open life. That means if we mess up or if someone needs to be redirected or even corrected as we keep moving through the Heart Attitudes, we have the ability as we work together and participate to redirect and correct if necessary. The commitment of Heart Attitude number four to clear up relationships if something does go out of bounds—there is a way as a team or as a group or even as the whole church that we can correct what might have gone wrong. We have that ability. That’s how Heart Attitude number five works.
Then, Heart Attitude number six—we’re going to keep adding them to the stack here. Heart Attitude number six is “Support the work financially.” It builds on number one again, because it’s the call to participate. It’s the call to help out. One of the realities that we’ve talked about is that it does cost money to run a church to run a ministry. We’re standing here in the building right now filming this, and we have a mortgage to pay. We have electricity to pay, so that we can have the lights here and these cameras that we’re filming with. These all cost money, so a way to participate is by our hands and feet, but also by contributing financially.
Heart Attitude number six comes after number five, because participation should not merely be financial. In fact, for some people it’s actually easier to participate financially than have to get their hands dirty, so to speak. Heart Attitude number six comes after number five, because we want participation in both ways. It takes and God calls us to help with our hands and feet and with our financial resources to all move the mission forward.
Finally, Heart Attitude number seven—Follow spiritual leadership within Scriptural limits—we looked at this Heart Attitude more in-depth last week. Heart Attitude number seven comes last because it gives followers confidence. Because, leaders are bound to the same Heart Attitudes. The leader here at the top is bound to the rest of the Heart Attitudes. Before we follow the spiritual leader, we know that they are operating the same way. Leaders look to the goals and interests of others and of the entire church. Leaders need to be open and honest and not be hypocritical and pretending to have a walk with God but actually a real walk with God.
Leaders need to be willing to be corrected. If a follower sees a leader stepping out of bounds, a follower needs to be able to correct the leader based on Scripture. Then, when it comes to Heart Attitude number four and asking forgiveness when leaders mess up, again, we talked about this last week. There are no perfect leaders, because there are no perfect people. So when leaders mess up, leaders need to go ahead and clean that up and clear up the relationships when and where necessary. Leaders need to actually be participating in the ministry, not just standing over everyone who is doing the work. Leaders have different work to do, but leaders need to be participating.
Then, Heart Attitude number seven comes after number six because leaders need to actually have an investment, a financial investment, in the work that they’re leading in. So, they all work together. The blanks on your handout—the first is that the leaders are bound to the same Heart Attitudes. The second blank there on your handout is that followers have permission to correct a leader if he or she goes out of bounds. I hope this has been helpful to you to see the sequence of the Heart Attitudes and how they all start with Heart Attitude number one and build from there. So, I hope this has been helpful.
When we talk about the Heart Attitudes here at Hope Church, we’re primarily talking about the way that we relate to one another in church and the way that we relate to one another as a church. Those who are members of Hope Church—that is those who have formally gone through our path to membership and signed the membership covenant—have made a commitment to practice the Heart Attitudes. Because we’re human and not perfect, we never do them perfectly. But, we at Hope Church have made the commitment to practice the Heart Attitudes. I don’t want you to think that the Heart Attitudes are just something that we do here at church or just something that we do on Sunday mornings or whatever night of the week your group meets and gets together, that that’s the time that you do the Heart Attitudes because you're interacting with people from Hope Church.
The reason is because God’s Word applies to all of life; every area of life applies to God’s Word. As we’ve talked in the past about lordship and even looked at an image of a lordship pie, Jesus is to be Lord of every area of our lives. Therefore, we can take Biblical principles that we find in God’s Word, which the Heart Attitudes are based on God’s Word, and we can apply them to every area of life. The great thing about that is we can practice and live the Heart Attitudes with people who don’t follow Jesus and people who have never heard of the Heart Attitudes.
If you take your handout and either scroll down to page two or flip it over and look at the back (maybe you printed it out), you’ll see a section called “Practicing the Heart Attitudes Outside of Church.” I want to give you a couple of examples, some ways that the Heart Attitudes can be used in additional contexts. The wording’s been slightly altered or changed. The first way is in business. In business, we move from the Seven Heart Attitudes to the Six High Value Management Practices. There are only six instead of seven, and it will become obvious when you look at the list.
The Six High Value Management Practices are printed there. Really, quickly… Act in the genuine best interest of others. Communicate honestly. Give and receive “kind correction.” Clear up misunderstandings; to the extent possible, resolve conflicts. Here we’ve combined Heart Attitudes five and six, and it says, “Do your part of the work.” Most of us at our jobs don’t pay our employer to work there, so supporting the work financially is specific to the context of church. But, the idea of doing our part applies on the job. The last Heart Attitude, which is number six in this list, is to cooperate with your leaders within their jurisdiction. Your boss at work has a certain jurisdiction, and he can’t necessarily tell you what to do at home. But, you can follow him in the context of on the job.
That’s one context. The other context you see there is in marriage. Last month, we had a virtual marriage seminar with Dr. Nathan Lewis, where we took a look at the Seven Heart Attitudes in the context of marriage. Actually in the seminar, we only had time to look at the first four in-depth, but you can see the list here of all seven. This is Dr. Nathan Lewis’s list. Again, they’ve been slightly reworded, and the main this is that he’s inserted the words, “my spouse” or “marriage,” to replace the words that we’re used to in the context of church. So, the list you’ve got there… Putting the goals and interests of my spouse before my own. Living an honest and open life before my spouse. Giving and receiving Scriptural correction to and from my spouse. Clearing up my relationship with my spouse.
This is where it’s interesting when you look at the last three. How do we translate how we operate in our church context with a marriage context? He says, “Fully engaging in serving my spouse and marriage. Making sacrifices to contribute to the welfare and mission of the marriage. Lovingly leading or respectfully following my spouse in mutual submission.” This shows you how you can take those same Seven Heart Attitudes and apply them to the marriage context. Our “Sunday Extra” podcast that will come out the week of November 15th is an extended conversation that Pastor Brian and I had with Dr. Nathan Lewis. After we finished that virtual seminar a few weeks ago, we took a break and came back and recorded a conversation talking about the last three Heart Attitudes and how they apply to our marriages. Look for that to come out the week of November 15th.
There’s even an application of the Heart Attitudes that we teach our preschool and elementary age students here at Hope Church. Again, they are slightly different in their wording. Some of you have taught in our kids’ ministries, or you have kids in the kids’ ministries. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Some of you are familiar with the INSHAPE acrostic. It’s another way to look at the Heart Attitudes but specifically from the perspective and understanding that a child would have. Before we wrap up our message today and before we wrap up the entire series, I want you to hear from some folks from Hope Church on just how the Heart Attitudes have interacted in their lives and how they’ve benefited from them. (Video begins)
Jon Holiday: “I was...this was early on. This was probably the first time this ever happened to me because I was new to Hope. I hadn’t been around long, but I was already being asked to help out with certain things. I was in charge of a task. It was a project of trying to get some video footage at some of the various home fellowship groups. So, I had a plan, but I kind of procrastinated and didn’t communicate with particular groups or their leaders. Until one day when I decided, I’m going to do it tonight. I communicated that I’m coming tonight. Well, actually, Pastor Harold caught wind of some of the commotion that that caused because it was so last minute. There was some confusion. There was some apprehension, of course, and he said that I kind of needed to clear that up. So, I did. I contacted the leader and decided to schedule it for the next week instead of that night. In the process, I asked for forgiveness, which again came very quickly. That story’s very interesting because there’s four different Heart Attitudes involved there. Receive correction, then I had to follow spiritual leadership. Then, I cleared up the relationship, and all of that happened because I didn’t put their interests above mine. So, all of those things are wrapped up together. And as you know, those attitudes, a lot of times, overlap. They’re very intrinsically tied to each other.”
Elizabeth McWilliams: “I think at that moment I realized that they were real for the people around me. I think it took...maybe like a year or two for me to see...of working on them and figuring out what it is really like to work on these and actually do these in real life. Because clearing up relationships and living an honest, open life are just not normal, not what our culture says to do. So, going through this process of me having to...choosing to do those things on a somewhat consistent basis...it probably took a year or two for me to start even thinking that way. Like, ‘Oh, I really need to clear this up. I need to be open about this.’ I think it gradually happened over time, but at the beginning there was a lot, a lot, a lot of very intentional choosing, because it was so counter to how I had operated.”
Aaron McWilliams: “A lot of the Heart Attitudes are things, like ‘Oh, that’s wrong. Don’t do that.’ A lot of them are pretty common sense and for anyone who has read the ‘One Another’ passages in the Bible, that’s where they come from. So, there are familiar points, but I think really where the disconnect comes is how much I will sacrifice in order to do that. It’s one thing to cognitively agree with these statements, but it’s another one when you’re in the midst of a disagreement with someone or you just really want your own way. And, you know I’m going to have that attitude versus the one that I really feel strongly right now. Since that’s the background, I would tell people the same thing that I tell myself. It’s all about trusting God. He calls us to these attitudes, and they don’t always make sense in the moment. Or, they’re not what we want to do in the moment, but we have to trust Him that if we do them, He will take care of us. He will bless us or those around us, and He will grow us through that. That’s His goal is to make us like Himself.”
Stefan Beck: “I’m pretty lucky. God was really kind and blessed me with a wife that I really cherished and who really challenges me to grow and do things right. There’s a verse in the Bible that says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. I’ve really appreciated God’s blessing in having a family. Really applying these values to parenting and to my relationship with Caitlin has been really important for maintaining peace in our relationship, for helping our kids understand their role in our family, and helping us set clear priorities. So that when there’s that cool plastic toy on television, and they say, ‘Daddy, can I have that?’ I say, ‘Well, we’ll talk about it.” The restraint and the making wise choices is a normal part of our life, so there's not an explosion of disappointment every time we have to interact with something. That has been really a blessing just to see the peace that’s been part of our family. I have three young kids, and it can get pretty wild around here, but it’s fun. It’s not anger. It’s not chaos. It’s not screaming and hitting and biting each other. We had to challenge some of those natural instincts just like anybody else and train that out of our kids. But, having that common ‘This is what we do as a family; these are our values,’ really helped us come together and kind of move forward in peace instead of this tangled knot that is really common. I think it’s really easy to fall into. We’re not perfect by any measure, but it has really been a helpful tool to help navigate some of those normal challenges.”
Libby Coker: “I think just starting small, just starting where you’re at. Whether it’s joining a group and how you relate with people in group or choosing to serve on a Sunday, I think one of the basic, easiest things you can do is just take feedback from whoever your leader is on your serving team or in your group, because that will give you the opportunity to step outside of yourself by taking that feedback. You can either follow your leader well or put someone else’s goals and interests above yours. Whether it’s serving coffee, how you can serve coffee, or letting someone else speak in group when you have something that you want to say. I think it just takes practice in your small, everyday interactions with people, and as you are faithful in doing that, then God kind of expands and opens your eyes to other bigger opportunities where you can apply it at work, with family, on mission trips, on bigger things as you plug in.”
Jon Holiday: “The idea of the Heart Attitudes are principles in the Bible, but once you grasp those, it becomes obvious that certainly it helps with relationships and getting things done as a church. But to be honest with you, it goes so much further than that. These things can be used at work. They can be used in the community. They certainly can be used at home with your kids, especially with your wife. The idea of the Heart Attitudes really permeates all of life. It just makes life better.” (Video ends)
Pastor Matt: So as we wrap up our time today and we wrap up this series, I want you to turn back over your handout or scroll back to the first page and look towards the bottom of it. As you do, listen to the words of Jesus that we find in John chapter 13. He says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” When we think about Jesus’ words and His commandment to love one another, here’s what the Heart Attitudes give us.
The Heart Attitudes give us a Biblical framework to relate to one another in community and maintain healthy relationships in the long run. One of the things that I love about our church is that we are a multi-generational church. Some of you watching this today are grandparents today. You remember that when you first started attending Hope Church, maybe 20, 30, or 40 years ago—perhaps maybe you were a single man or woman at the time, and you met your spouse here at Hope or got married. While you were here at Hope, you raised your family, and today you are a grandparent. And, your adult children and grandkids are a part of Hope Church. They are a part of this church with you. That’s really something special to have a multi-generational church and to have people who have been members of the same church for 30, 40 plus years. Because, that doesn’t always happen.
One of the most natural things that happens because we’re humans is that we get crossways with one another. What typically happens, and I know some of you have even experienced this in the past. What typically happens is that you go to church, and everything is going great for a while. Then you get crossways with someone else from the church. That sort of gets swept under the rug, and it doesn’t get cleared up. Then a little time goes by and one or both of the people that were involved in the offense leave the church and go to church somewhere else...maybe. Then that same thing repeats itself over and over again over time.
What the Heart Attitudes do is they actually give us a vehicle and a way that we can have right relationships over the long run. We’re not a perfect church, but by the grace of God as we have practiced the Heart Attitudes for more than 42 years now, we have this Biblical framework to actually work through issues and problems when they come up and then continue to team together to work towards the mission that God has given us as a church. Our mission is to invite people to discover and experience God’s ways. One of the ways that people experience God’s ways is through your living the Heart Attitudes through you doing them to them. Them watching you to them to each other.
I want to invite you as we wrap up this series to do two things. Number one, if you scrolled to page two or look at the back, you’ll see some reflection questions that I’ve given you there on your handout. I want to invite you to set aside some time, whether it’s today or this week, and look through those questions and actually reflect on them. Then, as you do, I want you to write down your number one takeaway for this series. What’s the number one thing that God has spoken to you about in regard to the Heart Attitudes? What does He want you to do with what He’s spoken to you? I want to invite you to take the two steps. Look through the reflection questions, and then, actually write down your number one takeaway.
Would you bow with me in prayer as we close? Father, thank You that You love us. You created us for relationships, and You have given us everything that we need to know in Your Word so that we can have right, clear relationships with one another. That doesn’t make it easy, but You have given us all the tools we need. I thank You, Father, that we have the Heart Attitudes here at Hope Church. I thank You for the way that they have been just a tremendous blessing and help and encouragement to people for more than 42 years. I thank You for all of the relationships that have been restored as people do the hard work and do what needs to be done. Father, I pray that You would show us what our next steps are as we look at their reflection questions. Speak to us. Show us what our takeaway is and what You intend us to do. Then, I pray, Father, that You would give us the courage to take those steps. I ask all of this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
